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November 30, 2006

Very irritating chinese mother in law.how do i deal?

Filed under: China Law — Tags: , , — china @ 5:42 pm
chinese law
amaus22 asked:

I haven’t seen ANY posts on a mother in law like myne. She is chinese, but has lived in America for over 20 years. She still has her broken english and at times is very nieve. She is a nice person, but very, very annoying and irritating to be around. When we had to move her out of her house, she did not pack hardly anything up, and me and my mom had to do it all…not once did we get a “thank you”. In the beginning she would come over and just walk right in our house without even knocking…until we told her to knock!

Since then, my husband and I have had 3 kids, she has 2 days off each week and wants to see the kids every week she has off. She does not discipline, help out around the house with things ( i have 7 month old twins and a 2 year old), she lets my 2 year old get away with anything & everything and is OVERLY excited everytime she comes to see the kids. ( i mean the excitement lasts the entire time, from the moment she walks in the door.
She buys diapers for the kids, and sometime will buy us food. I am grateful she wants to do this, but even when we tell her not to buy anything, she does anyway. I feel like this is her way of keeping my husband on a leash and making him & I feel guilty if we do not spend every week with her. I have gotten to the point where i don’t even want her around that much…she never listens on how i want my kids to be raised or disciplined, and never asks how I am feeling or if it’s a good day to come over, she just expects that every day is a good day. She has even asked to see us on my hubby’s days off, and then expects it to be every day off he has, when that is the time i’d like to spend with him.

My husband has been hurt by me not wanting to spend every week with her coming over to see the kids, but I just can’t do it anymore, and I just need some space from her. She hired a nanny when my hubby was little to take care of him,so i think she is making up for lost time with my kids
my hubby also feels that i should say and act the way it would make him happy. I cannot be fake all the time and be someone i am not. He wants me to tell him what he wants to hear and not how i feel about it. I think he should back me up first being that i’m his wife, but he doesn’t put me first. He tells me i’m mean, even though i have always been cordial to his mom when she is around. I tell him how i really do wish we could be the best friend type, but we are so different! ***Oh, and he is 1/2 chinese, not full, does not speak the chinese language and grew up more with his dad.
**Oh, another thing…( i could go on and on) She does not listen like she understands, but she does understand. We have to tell her over and over about little things like not letting my 2 year old get away with certain things or touch the breakables in the house! I think she acts more nieve than she really is!

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